blisterzzzen

Growing up, i would always write anything im feeling on any sheet of paper close to me. 
Sometimes i pretend its a letter to a friend but really dont consider giving it to them. 
I just want to write and express the emotions thru writting. 
Sad! Happy! Missarable! Angry!

The drawback....After writing everything my heart is telling me to... i always forget to destroy evidences... hahahaha...
Ending disclosing all my secrets on my own.... #MedyoBobo

So now... maybe.... i could save myself money for the papers/notebooks...
and save myself from humiliation as well... 

blisterzzzen

I still think of you.. 

Wondering if masaya ka ba sa napili mo....
   ~ mukang masaya naman naka dalawa na nga kayong babies eh...

pero baket di pa kayo kasal? 
   ~ umaasa ako na ang sagot mo eh ung sinabi mo nung last na nakausap kita... na kahit kayo na at iniwan mo ko, ako pa din ung gusto mo pakasalan... #BS

gusto ko pa din paniwalaan na mahal mo naman talaga ako..
   ~ pero natukso ka lang... 

I really hope makita mo ko ngaun... 
   ~ feeling ko magiging proud ka sken, di naten napag usapan dati na mabibigyan ako ng ganitong chance... sinong mag aakala diba... 

namimiss ko na ung pamilya mo....
   ~ ung niyakap ako ni nanay mo nung huli akong pumunta diyan tapos nag tanong siya baket  tayo maghihiwalay... 

di ko mabigay lahat sakanya ngaun kasi....
  ~ hindi mo naibalik ung ibang parte ng puso ko nung iniwan mo ko... 

blisterzzzen

Kinilkilig ako with an office crush... 
~ he's married, asian but not pinoy, super shy...  
~ tuwing nag kakatinginan kame, tapos parehas kameng babaling ng tingin... #uma-ALDUB
~ haven't talk to him since i met him and by december babalik na ko ng pinas so nothing harmful... right?

at the same time im thinking of my ex from time to time...
~ mostly bitter thoughts, and what ifs kung kame pa ngaun.. 
~ pero kahit may 0.0001% chance na mag kabalikan kame, i would never dare to grab the opportunity. I think im much better off without him...

peo i have a 3 yrs relationship too...  
~ di ko alam if im a sucker for bad guys, that i think i dont deserve him.
he is sweet, maasikaso, etc... peo ako parang 60% lang lagi kong nabibigay na efforts for him..
~ or maybe may hinahanap pa kong iba sakanya na alam ko sa current status nia ngaun ay di nia pa kaya ibigay...
~ I love him... but i think he loves me more and that bothers me... d ako sanay na mas minamahal ako... mas sanay ako na ako ung all out pagdating sa pagmamahal...

am i that bad?? 

blisterzzzen

Maghapon nanood ng series... (Orange is the new Black) 
Nakaupo habang nag gaganstilyo...
ino-on ang skype sakaling tumawag sila sa bahay... 
peo ansaya na din na hindi kasi panigurado magsasabi na naman si nanay na mag ipon ako at kung ano ano pang habilin na medyo nakaka pagod na pakingan.... 
Nakachat ko si bf pero nakatulugan ako nung tanghali.. tapos nakatulugan ako ulet ngaung gabi...
siguro kasi puro OK lang ung sagot ko... nakakawalang gana na din ung usapan namin paminsan minsan... wala ng sense....
i dunno if homesick din ba toh, or im just plain losing it... 

Maybe I liked being alone too much now.... or maybe, im just sleepy...